I wanted to give you a blog post that flowed into the 3rd one. But honestly? Writing is chaos at times to me. I’m a discovery writer. I sit down and I write what comes to me. I don’t normally plan it out. You know the best laid plans and all.
I found that it stalls me, and causes me to overthink. Unlike most of my career, which I did like most try to plan out. This makes more sense for me this time around. Just sit down and let the words and thoughts flow. The funny thing is, even the things I tried to plan out in my prior career rarely went as expected. But somehow still ended up better than I expected (most of the time.)
The story or thoughts are like a little tornado spinning in the back of my mind that I ignore until it is time to run. Or in writing sense, time to write.
This is the fall of my life, and I am writing this chapter a little different.
A new struggle I have is no mentor for guidance. I always had a mentor, to coach and guide me to what to do next or achieve. Or even go beyond what I thought was possible. This time, it is all me. And aren’t we all our harshest critics? Yeah, we are. If not please tell me your secret.
For me, this uncharted territory. I want freedom to find my voice and connect with readers. To do it my way. It sounded easy at first. What I didn’t realize is that it takes a kind of discipline I am not fully used to. It’s more rigorous, because no one’s going to reprimand or question me if I don’t show up an write.
I have no coworker’s counting on me. No one giving me direction or goals or a need to deliver some motivational speech about why I know they can. This time, it’s all me. Succeed or fail. It is all mine to own. Being my own pusher and motivator and answering to myself is something I didn’t plan or think about. If I do or don’t there is no one to explain or justify it too.
This probably comes off like I am bragging about being discipline. I am not. If anything, I am complaining and wondering why it taking so long for me to finish the second draft. Does it really matter if I don’t finish?
Yes. It does to me.
Why? Because I hate “what if” and regrets. We all have them, and I have more than my share. But this is one “what if” I want to change. Out of all them, this is the one I think I can look back and someday say ‘You know what, I tried. Good or bad, I went for it’. And to me that is pretty damn cool.
So yeah, maybe I’ll keep running with it. You know a little chaos, a little coffee, Red Bull and no real plan outside of practicing writing everyday. If it works, great. And if it doesn’t? Well, I had fun trying. It’ll be one “what if” I don’t have to wonder about anymore.
Like I said this is the fall of my life and part of that means checking off, or at least trying to answer those “what ifs”. I don’t know where I’ll end up with all this. But I like my odds. I think with a little luck and lot of discipline it will be somewhere between accidentally productive and unhinged. Because honestly, some of the best decisions I’ve ever made have been memorably unhinged in the best and worst ways possible. And looking back comical.
Either way, if you stick around, I promise you’ll have a laugh or two along the way away. Because laughter? It is something we all need and can relate to. You won’t be disappointed.
But if you are hoping for the picture of a perfect life, you’re in the wrong place. But if you want real, honest, unpolished with chaos, detours, coffee, Red Bull and a sniff of bourbon, have a seat. It is about to get interesting.
I can’t be the only one who’s hit the recalculate route stage of life, right? If you could let me know. I would love to hear it. Drop your funniest or most unexpected detour moment below. No judgement, we are all in this together.
